|| The Glass Age ||

What is the Glass Age?

The Glass Age describes the current age of man. It is an historical periodization such as the Stone Age—only with far more knuckle-walking and far fewer cultural gains. It is indeed an “interesting time,” which I’m told (and have good reason to agree) is a curse of sorts.[1] Sometimes I’m convinced what makes this epoch so interesting is exactly how uninteresting it is. Nevertheless, despite its tedium and absurdity, the Glass Age has its own beauty. A flower, after all, has the luxury of ignorance and, as such, blossoms despite all the muck the rest of you have made of the world.[2]

Why is it called the Glass Age?

The glass in Glass Age refers to the purely reflective surface of a mirror, i.e. a looking glass. Glass in this sense alludes to the rampant narcissism indicative of your age, to your preoccupation with “self”—at least in terms of the surface layer of your “selves,” which is by all learned accounts the least “self” that “self” can possibly be.

Characteristics of the Glass Age 

Glass Age indicators include but are not limited to:

  • Bumper Stickers
  • Your increased fascination with and desire for the customization of all things.
  • Blogs (the paradox here is not unknown to me)
  • Blog comments–particularly those of false or forced erudition, commonly rife with a gross negligence of spelling and grammar and a clearly un-or-under-informed worldview (commonly found on news websites).
  • The deification of pop stars
  • The sensationalism of your formerly legitimate news sources, which presumably stooped to the demand of the masses rather than demanding the masses to rise.
  • Talk Radio.
  • The slutification of your holiday known as Halloween.
  • Selective Nationalism/Patriotism.
  • Reality and Reality Competition television shows.
  • Selfies
  • Sagging
  • Political apparatchiks
  • The proliferation of abbreviation. ROFL!
  • Hashtags
  • The “like for like” phenomenon
  • The “pseudofriend”
  • Quasi-altruism.

What caused the Glass Age?

Soy milk[3].


 

[1] Refers to the proverbial curse May you live in interesting times, often attributed to the Chinese (most likely because the phrase at some point landed itself inside a fortune cookie).

[2] Desertification eventually makes a boldface lie of this sentiment.

[3] Despite my research, I cannot with 100% certainty substantiate this claim, but I still think it’s quite probable.

4 comments

  1. Pingback: My Cartoon on Selife Psychosis in the Glass Age | apochralypse
  2. Aquileana · September 1, 2014

    An amazing an truly interesting post on The Glass Age… It is the first time I heard this expression to make reference to the rampant narcissism indicative of the age and to our preoccupation with “self”…
    Things would be different (thus better) if we changed this perspective, that is a clear statement that can not be denied.
    Thanks for sharing, best wishes to you, Aquileana 😀

    Like

    • Langston Oddfellow · September 1, 2014

      Thanks for your comment, Aquileana. “The Glass Age” is a term coined from my little brain. I think it fits, though, yes?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Diabtribe on Bumper Stickers | apochralypse

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